Are “Categories” Controlling Your Dating Life?
In case you haven’t noticed, we live in a complicated world. Massive amounts of information are presented to us daily, and as a result, we have to come up with ways to simplify the use of that information.
One of the ways we do it, is by categorizing other people, and then relating to them based on that category.
For example, if a guy with flashing lights on his car and a badge on his chest pulls you over, you’re going to act a certain way towards him. Why? Because you automatically put him in the “cop category.” If you see the exact same guy in the gym working out, you’ll act totally different in his presence. Why? Because the category you put him in changed.
Categories are crucial when it comes to being successful with women. Consider this: how does a woman treat you if you’re in her “nice guy” or “friend” category?
Now, how does her behavior change towards you if you’re her boss? It’s different. What if she puts you in the “naughty boy” category? Now her behavior towards you changes dramatically.
Whenever you meet a woman for the first time, you must do two things: get her to put you in the category YOU desire (so her behavior towards you is what YOU want), and you must AVOID the things that put you in the category you do not want to be in. The key is to do both—most guys try to be the “naughty boy,” but they still do nice guy things. They get put into the “nice guy” category because they failed to avoid doing the things that trigger that category.
Here’s a secret: sit down, and go through all your past interactions with women. Write down all the behavior that has caused them to put you in an undesirable category. Then, work on eliminating this behavior IN ADDITION to adding in the behavior that puts you in a desirable category
Then, whenever you talk to a woman, automatically ask yourself this question: “What category do I want her to put me in, and which ones do I want her to avoid?” Then let your actions flow from there, continuing to ask yourself, “Which category will this action put me in?” You’ll find this “thinking in categories” is a massively useful way to shortcut your success. Control the category, and you control the behavior.
Is It Bad To Date More Than One Woman At The Same Time?
Whenever someone opts out of my list, they get the chance to leave comments, and some of the parting comments I get are hilarious. Some are quite complimentary, others are quite rude, and some tell me I’m going straight to hell because I advocate sinning with more than one women. Those always crack me up the most.
Why? Because nowhere do I advocate a particular lifestyle. Unlike many of these guys who really want to force their philosophy on the world, I simply provide information, leaving it up to the individual to decide how to best use it for himself.
But that does bring up the practical question—is dating multiple women a good or bad thing? The answer is, it depends on where you are in life.
If you’ve ever read Think and Grow Rich, you’ll find that Napoleon Hill actually addresses this issue, in two ways. The first one has to do with why men fail in life. Hill says the second biggest reason why men fail is improper selection of mate. They tend to take what comes along instead of selecting a woman who will support them in reaching their goals.
The other issue that Hill brings up is, in his study, most men do not achieve financial success until their 50’s because… they are spending all their time and “sexual energy” chasing women instead of “transmuting” that energy into success.
In my experience I have found Hill’s advice to be true. If you spend all your time dating multiple women, you will not have much time for success in other areas, if that’s what you desire. I can also tell you for a fact that having a woman in your life who understands and supports what you want to accomplish is a huge benefit.
However, I do think there is a time and place to date multiple women; in fact I think it’s important that you do. Although Hill never says it, the reason most men choose a woman improperly is because they take the first one that comes along. If you date multiple women, and develop the skill of creating attraction, you’ll be able to make a decision of the type of woman you want in your life, based on experience.
You’ll know what kind of behaviors you want and don’t want, plus you’ll know that IF you do decide to go with one woman, that you’re able to attract the one you want, not one you just settled for. Most men fail because they settled for a woman that just came along, not the one they wanted, and that has a very bad affect on their self image.
So, in a strange way, my answer to the question of “one woman or multiple women” is BOTH—at the right time and place for you, of course.
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