Human nature is incredibly fascinating to me, and I am in a unique position to observe it. There are a lot of guys on this list, and it is always an interesting exercise to see the different reactions of people to the exact same email, or the exact same information.
This, of course, has to do with what’s called “map or model of the world”—everyone gets the same input, but the reaction (output) is different. Why? Because how the individual views the world governs response to behavior. Your map or model of the world determines your outcomes in life. Luckily, if you’re not getting the results you want, you can simply change your map or model and the results will follow.
Today I want to talk about what I call “failure maps.” Every now and then my assistant Jennifer forwards me an email from a guy who should be attractive to women saying, “it didn’t work for him.” And then she forwards me several emails with exciting success stories from guys, who by any stretch of the imagination have a lot to overcome (looks, weight, age, etc.)
What’s the difference between the guy “it didn’t work for” and the guy with the success story who had a heck of a lot more to overcome? It’s not the information because they both got the same product and receive the same emails. In other words, same input different output. The difference lies in their respective maps. One guy’s map is oriented towards success, the other guy’s toward failure.
The successful guy asks, “How can I make this work for me?” The guy who failed says, “it won’t work for me, because…” One guy takes responsibility for his outcomes; the other has already decided the information (and not him) is to blame. One very interesting thing I have noticed is, the “it won’t work because…” guys send in their email very soon (usually 2 days) after they’ve gotten the materials. The success stories usually come in several weeks later. Why? Because most of the guys who succeed, fail at first … but they ask themselves “how can I make it work for me?” and go out and test a slightly different approach predicated on the information they got from me—their map dictates they do so.
If you look at the “it won’t work for because…” guys, you’ll see this carries over into other areas of their life. If someone tells them about a new fitness routine they say, “this won’t work for me because…” If someone tells them about starting an internet business they say, “it won’t work for me because…” If someone tells them they can make money investing in real estate they say, “it won’t work for me because…” This is a failure map, and if you hear your brain telling you this, you immediately need to interrupt this pattern with, “no, the right question is, how can I make this work for me?”
How do I know this? Because I used to have a bout with “it won’t work for me because…” demon. But, the instant I switched the question to, “how can I make this work?” my results started changing. This slight “re-mapping” process has allowed me to experience some major successes the old “it won’t work because…” never would have. Oh, it still crops up, but as soon as I remap the process, I usually do find a way to make it work for me, and the truth is, it is usually much easier than I thought it would be.
So, if you’re not currently getting the results you want to, have a look at your internal map, and pay attention to what your brain is telling you. Replace any “I can’ts…” or “it won’ts” with “how can I?” and you will be amazed at your external results. I sure was!
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