Monday, March 9, 2009

What Women Really Want! And Should You Talk To Strangers For Dating?


What Women Really Want!

Have you ever had a woman say to you “let’s just be friends,” or “I’m not ready to date” or just plain ignore your phone calls even though you felt things were going “great?”

It happens to men all the time, and when it does, we’re left confused, and even a bit pissed off. Why do women do this to us?

The answer is simple: because we’re not giving her what she wants.

What women want really is very simple, but due to conditioning by society few men really understand it. See, we’re all brought up to believe that women want a guy who’s sweet, kind, and sensitive, a guy who showers them with compliments, treats her like a Queen and does everything possible to “keep her happy.”

What’s interesting is, when we do all this as men, something just doesn’t “feel right.” We can’t put our finger on it, and we do what society preaches, but in the back of our mind something just “isn’t right.” And the outcomes we get further reinforce that fact—no matter how sweet, kind, and nice we are, she always goes for the “jerk.”

Why? Because the jerk, in a very dysfunctional way, gives her what she wants: a powerful feeling of attraction. And because she rarely gets that from other men, she’ll spend time with the jerk, even as her world crashes down around her.

Get this, and get it good: women want a man who creates attraction for them. That’s it—nothing more, nothing less. When you think about it, at first it seems like a dumb statement… but as you get more in depth you realize how profound it is.

Why? Because it forces you to continually ask this question to yourself whenever you’re with a woman: “am I doing the things that create attraction with her?” If the answer is “yes,” then you keep doing what you’re doing… if it’s “no” you’d better change it quick.

Few men ever ask themselves this question. Instead they ask themselves “does she like me?” or other questions that force them into nice-guy behavior. Even worse, most men ask themselves no questions at all, adopting an attitude of “I hope it happens this time” which leads to inaction.

So, as you go throughout your day, actively ask yourself, “am I creating attraction with my current set of behavior?” You’ll be amazed how differently women respond to you when you do this. They can tell you’re “different” and treat you as such.

Should You Talk To Strangers For Dating?

When you were a kid did you parents ever tell you not to “talk to strangers?” Well, most people heard that growing up, and when you were a kid that’s probably good advice. Not much good is going to come from kids talking to strange adults.

However, a funny thing happens with childhood advice- it doesn’t leave when you grow up. It stays with you, seeping into your subconscious mind, affecting your actions even though you’re no longer a kid.

Think about the “don’t talk to strangers” advice. While it was useful as a kid, it’s pretty bad advice when you’re older, especially when it comes to success in business and success with women.

In business you have to talk to strangers, you have to convert them from strangers to people you know. A salesman who is afraid of talking to strangers is going to have a very short career.

When it comes to attracting women, the art of talking to strangers is almost a must-have. If you limit your universe of women to those you already know, chances are you have a pretty small universe. Expand it to those you don’t know, and you have the whole world to choose from.

Whether you approach a woman or she approaches you, you’re going to have to talk to a stranger. There’s no getting around it—in fact, it’s a skill you should embrace and master.

The first thing to do is simply re-frame in your head that talking to strangers is now a good thing, that you can’t get what you want out of life without dealing with others.

The second thing to do is to simply get in the habit of starting conversations with other people, getting them to talk about themselves. What you’ll find is, most people are starving for attention, and that when you get them to talk about themselves, you really don’t have to do much talking yourself… they won’t shut up.

When you view talking to strangers a simply a skill to be mastered, the fear tends to dissipate—when you start getting results (especially with sexy women), you’ll actually look forward to talking to strangers… and you’ll discover they ain’t so strange after all.

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